R Family Time

Change is Good

Change is good.

We have been busy cleaning. Deep cleaning.  I am amazed at how much stuff that was JUST in the living room and dining room.  We haven't even begun in the bedrooms...but soon.

I have concluded we, just as a people, have a fascination with stuff. We cannot take this STUFF with us to heave when we die, though I am sure many of us  would like to have our favorite stuff there.  Why do we need all this stuff?  Sure we feel good about it for the short term, but long term?   Nope.  We end up throwing it all away.  

A friend was over when I was sorting papers, most of which ended up in the recycle bin.  She asked me how I could just toss stuff.  I check everything for importance or not.  Most were just extra flyers/papers in mailings.  We don't need that stuff lying around.  TOSS IT!   My paper pile was huge and I felt overwhelmed, but once it was all taken care of, MAN!  It felt great! Nothing could stop me now from going through other spots in our apartment.  I lost count of how many trips to the recycle and dumpster!  We filled all the bins and the dumpster.   

While I cleaned, I found things I had been missing. I invested in some filing boxes and trays for the new work station my oldest son built.  Things of great importance have a special place.  Everyone knows where it is at.  Ken was not quite sure what to make of our new system and stuff tonight as he searched for a label he needed.  He told me he couldn't find anything.  Yes you can!  It is all right in front of you.

Now with all this deep cleaning, we decided to move the furniture around, which caused more sorting of stuff.  Throwing out of stuff.  Finding of more things lost. With the furniture change, we have to be careful.  One whole wall is a sliding glass door.  It doesn't open, but it is our main source of natural lighting. We get the morning sun and the we slide into darkness.  We cannot block this glass wall too much or the darkness is worse.  We need light!  

With the moving of stuff, it was decided more color was needed. Ken thinks white for everything is fine with a little color here or there.  I needed bright colors to really bring the light in.  So we have a robin's egg blue couch...retro I might add, with red/pink/yellow/orange pillows.  I decided to really use those colors in other parts of our living room.  I have a thing for red.  I love the color, but didn't feel right about using it in my decorating.  However, I decided to be bold and use it.  Red is everywhere and looks so great with our couch and shoe shelf, which was painted the same color.  It is nice to check it all out and see the change.  Change is good.  Especially this change.

We have more changes to make to other rooms, but we are in a good place.  Our main area is bold, welcoming and a place we all want to be.

The Trip to Holland

WELCOME TO HOLLAND

by
Emily Perl Kingsley.

c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

 

I am not sure what to write or how to write it.  I can relate to this.  I have been detoured twice.  I have witness families taking detours.  Not a pretty sight.  Not a joyous experience.  It is a significant loss so many take for granted until we are faced with it.  

I have 4 boys.  Actually 5 boys.  Paul, Sean, Daniel, Samuel and Peter.  Samuel is Daniel's twin and our angel.  Sean has VACTERLS Association and Chronic Lung disease as well as a bunch of other stuff.  Daniel has Chiari Malformation I.  He has chronic pain.    It hasn't been easy, especially with Sean, who has had 20+ surgeries, feeding tubes, special formula for tube feeding at night... 

The end of 2010 saw a detour for us in Holland.  It continues in 2011 so far.  While we rejoice, we are quick to remember this could all change and those who do not get a detour out of Holland.

Early Morning

Growing up I was up by 5am.  I have a church class to take and I wanted to look my best, so I had to be up early.  No one else was up, so I had the quiet to myself.  So peaceful and just calming.  Even when it was in the winter.  

Since growing up, getting married and having children, I am not usually up early these days.  I find my quiet and peace once the boys are in bed and then. And only then, is the silence golden!  For many years, I would be up all night with Sean due to his issues at night.  Once morning was here, I would crawl into bed, relieved to have made it through the night one  more time.  Since my boys were little, we would all sleep in and get up around 10 to start the day.    Sean's health is much better these days, so I can actually go to bed earlier...if I wanted to.  

The last few weeks I haven't had much sleep since my boys were all sick and then I became sick.   My cough was keeping me up.  Why sleep if I am just going to cough up a lung?!  So I stayed up all night.  I cleaned my kitchen and then made breakfast/lunch for Ken.  I am liking this.  I can get peace and quiet this early  too.  So I am going to try to get to bed earlier so I can be up early, before the sun is up. I can get more done being up early than staying up late.   I cannot wait to see the looks on  the faces of my boys when they see I am up before they are.

Early Morning...the new way to start the day.

The Long Awaited Sweetness

Sweetness is.......snuggles with a sleepy 80lb, 8 year old boy, who smells so sweet after all these years.  He is hard to lift and barely fits on my lap, but I won't chase him away.  Soon he won't let me snuggle or kiss him.  Soon he will be smelly from his basketball or the dirt from his outdoor adventures.  Soon he will be a man and have a son or daughter of his own to snuggle.  

He is my sweet Pete.  I waited so long for him.  

Yearly Post

Okay, this is bad.  To only post once a year, wow!  What a waste of money!  BUT I hope to change that as I really do miss blogging.  

Let's see. Where to begin.  Oh, let's play  "2010 in Review".  

January

Ken was starting his 11 month of unemployment.

I took on a huge project which taught me to say  NO to people. I just need to say NO to myself.  It was my last Woodbadge goal...

It was the start of 6 months of being sick and without a voice the entire time.

I finished 3 Woodbadge goals....yeah me.   

February

Finished 4th Woodbadge goal.  

Taught at Powwow to a sell out crowd of LDS Scout Leaders.  It was an awesome class.  Looking forward to doing it again in a month.

Avoided a hospital stay for Sean....this is a huge undertaking!

March

My oldest son turned 21.  Not an age I thought I would see.  It was bittersweet.  He should be coming home from his mission...he hasn't even gotten there yet.

We continue the unemployment saga...many interviews...nothing comes from them.

April

Sean turns 11. Huge milestone for our super guy.  We celebrate his life and how good he is doing.

Rocket academy..fun times!

May

oh this month.  what a month.

Finish final Woodbadge goal.  Cub-O-Ree for 2,000 Cub Scouts and their parents.  We were expecting 500 and surprisingly enough, we had more than enough supplies!  We came home with leftovers.  It was a good weekend..my feet will never be the same.

Ken turned 45.

Find out a very close friend is moving in July.  I nearly died. We had a blast at the Cub-O-Ree though!

June

Cub Scout Day Camp--CSI Cub Scout Investigation Session 1.  It was a blast!  I am getting better at being a Camp Director...this was my second year.  Nationally Accredited!!!

July

Cub Scout Day Camp--same theme.  Session 2.  Nationally Accredited once again....we had it in a different location.  A parking structure in downtown Glendale, CA.  It was interesting and so much fun.  SO very nice and cool too.  

August

23rd wedding anniversary

School starts

Sept.

Trip to San Diego to see nephew and his parents.  Love that little guy!

October

Cook for Camporee.  Learned a lot. The scouts and leaders loved my cooking.   I am not paid enough.... 

November

job interviews for Ken.  Fingers crossed....as well as everything else.

December.

JOB!  

2010 was not a good year for me, personally. I was angry a lot and spent too much time taking care of myself and not so much my marriage.  That is changing though and 2011 is looking great! 

New Years

1.What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?
Direct a Cub Scout Day Camp of 100 cubs and their siblings. A Staff of 30 people.

2.Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Nope.  I didn't make any in 2009.  I have made some this year.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes My sister-in-law to twins.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes, my Granny.

5. What countries did you visit?
Not a single one.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
To help my sons overcome learning disabilities.

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

2/06/09: My husband lost his job again.

Jun 22nd.  I learned I can direct a camp.  I learned I am good at it.

Sept and Oct: I attended Woodbadge and learned I know more than I thought. 

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year

Directing Day Camp

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not being able to help my boys more.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Swine flu.  Need I say more?

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Haven't bought anything as husband is still unemployed.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
No ones.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
My husband's. Tiger Woods. CHurch leaders.

14. Where did most of your money go?
What money?

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Directing Day Camp

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
Nothing will.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c) richer or poorer?
Sadder, same and poorer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Visit my family in Montana.  taken my boys camping.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Be angery.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
Home with my boys.

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?
No.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
I don't watch tv.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you did not hate this time last year?
No.  Just disappointed.

24. What was the best book you read?
the Bible.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
none

26. What did you want and get
My husband to get a job and the swine flu.

27. What did you want and not get?
nothing.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Don't have money to afford a movie.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Nothing. I turned 42. 

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Husband get a job with insurance.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Boy scout leader uniform

32. What kept you sane?
scouting.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
None of them. They are all shallow.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

Can't say.

Starting Over

I have been absent from here and have really missed blogging.  So I am going to give it another try and blog each day for the rest of November.

With starting over, I should reintroduce myself.

Hi! I am Shelly. I am the blessed momma to 4 wondeful sons, who are my everything. 

Paul is 20...almost 21.  He is getting ready for an LDS Mission...place unknown right now.  He is my computer fixer/expert.  He is also my handyman and babysitter...gotta earn his keep some how. He is nicknamed 'Homeless Dude" by his younger brothers. 

Sean is 10..almost 11. There is so much to say about Sean, yet words can't even be used to describe this sweet tweener.  Life with Sean is complicated, yet a blessing.  Being his mother, has really molded me into who I am today.  Sean was born with VACTERLS Association, Dsyautonomia, Unspecified Metabolice disorder, asthma, and chronic lung disease due to everything above and being a preemie.  Sean has had 8 major surgeries and countless small ones.  He is homeschooled due to health conditions and frequent Doctor appts and hospitalizations.  He loves Super heroes...especially Spiderman.  Visit often to learn more about this amazing boy.

Daniel is 9. He just turned 9.  Daniel is all boy.  Running and basketball fill his dreams each night.  He is going to be tall, so basketball is a good choice.  He runs like the wind and is one of the faster boys in the entire school!  Daniel is also a gamer, but we keep that at bay by keeping him busy with Cub Scouts and family activities.  Daniel suffers from Fibromyalgia and will begin treatment for it this week.  He has had emergency brain surgery and countless MRI's.  He also has Chiari I and Hydrosyringomyelia.  An amazing sweet boy who has white blonde hair and the ability to charm animals of any kind...mostly lizards.

Peter is 7.  He is far from being 8.  He is our caboose and very much a momma's boy.  Very stubborn and into skeletons and aliens. He loves to draw and hangs his masterpieces all over our home.  He has a pet fish and loves to do things better and bigger than his older brothers, except chores. He is terrified of swimming after nearly drowning a few years ago.  He loves being a Tiger Cub  and would wear his uniform 24/7 if he let him. 

Ken is my soulmate and cannot imagine going through life with anyone else.  We have our struggles as all couples do, but we have made it to 22yrs.  He currently unemployed and would love some job leads.  He is also involved in scouting and that is one thing we do together and as a family. 

More of me:  I love colors.  Not really a favorite, but rust red is more of a color I am drawn to for my home.  It is very warm and cozy.  I love pinks and would love a white and pink room of my own some day.  Blues and yellows. comforting and casual, yet elegant.

I love music.  all kinds..except rap.  Soft piano music for early mornings and evenings to calm things down before bed.  itunes and I are good friends.  I have a hot pink ipod shuffle..the old kind.

I love scouting. I am good at it, but have so much more to learn.  I love to sing songs by the campfire.  Need to remember them! 

One of my greatest fears to overcome was singing before a large group of people.  I can say I have accomplished that, but will need to keep working on it to become better at it.  Scouting has been wonderful to/for me.  I love to train Cub Leaders and to incorporate the Cub scouting Core Values as well as the Boy Scout Oath and Law. 

I can cook.  I cannot bake.  I sew, paint, draw, create, sing, play piano, flute and french horn, though the later two it has been tooo long and I don't have them anymore. 

I come from a large family and wanted a large family. I am blessed and lucky to have the 4 boys I have.

I love going barefoot.  My feet are small.  My favorite shoes are some red patented leather shoes I had 18yrs ago.  I keep looking for some like them. I haven't found any yet.  I love my Keene's.

I design jewelery, but don't wear it much.  I love working with wire, beads, crystals and charms. 

I love Dollhouses.  I have 3.  2 I made and 1 from my dad when I was about 8 or 9.  It has a place of honor in our home...on top of the bookcase.

Tidying Up A Bit

I have been busy tidying up my side of our bedroom. It is all my craft stuff and I do have tons of things...more than I ever imagined!  I am busy taking my scrap fabrics and making a family quilt.   Just random pieces to make long strips.  Added here and there.  Mostly pink right now.  More pink to add.  Funny to have pink in a house full of boys.    I guess it is to keep my sanity with all that boys bring.    Gotta have some chick stuff around.

Tonight we went to Ken's brother's home for a hot dog roast.  It was cool enough to have a fire, which is not typical in August.  The boys kept piling on the leaves and sticks until we had a roaring bonfire!  Daniel wanted to keep dumping things on it, but Bruce would have been up until late letting the fire die out.    Next time I  am going to do foil dinners in the coals...yumm!!!!

School begins in 23 days.  I am not ready and yet I can't wait for them to be gone for the day learning and being with their friends.  I will have Sean's school to do at home, but so ready to get into a schedule again. 

A busy August, but more time to do the things I want to do and relax more.  Ken and I have our 22nd wedding anniversary on Wednesday to celebrate...we were married on a Wednesday....at 11am.  We have plans for 11am just the two of us. We plan to go to the Los Angeles Temple together to remember that sacred and special day 22 years ago.   We will celebrate in the evening with our boys.  22years of being a family.

Today

Today is a better day with the cool breeze.  Good thing with the rolling black outs...

We have had a busy summer and have really enjoyed it.  However, we have missed just hanging out doing nothing/crafting.  Little projects here and there just haven't happened like previous summers.  Oh well.  Perhaps August will be like that before school starts.

Fun music. Summer breezes on a hot day.  Family.  Good food.  perfect!

Another Day Done

Today was a busy day for us.  More deep cleaning!  My boys just can not throw things away and refuse to put things in their places.  Well, many things had to go and now their room looks great.  Since it is so late, vacuuming will have to wait until morning.

Today we took some time to reflect upon those who served for our country.  Friday evening I was speaking to a Vet and I thanked him for serving. I was the first person in his entire life to thank him!  Imagine that. It brought tears to his eyes and to mine.  My brothers and my BIL have served our Country, though my BIL is a recent Vet.    Thank you all!

I really like Facebook.  I have found long lost friends from my childhood and HS years.  it has been fun to reconnect after almost 30yrs since we last saw each other.  It amazes me 30yrs have really gone by. It just seems like yesterday when we said good-bye.  

It was really nice to be home and not be doing any scout things, though we should have.  No gas in the van nor money to fill it up.  Ken still doesn't get unemployment benefits and the job he was working hard to get, has been given to someone else.  Talk about frustrating beyond measure.  I am trying to put on a happy face, but some days, I just can't.  Thankfully our church is helping with some things. However, there are things we just need and can't find a way to get.  

Laundry is one. We live an apt., so we don't have our own washer/dryer.  It is very expensive to wash/dry just 1 load, so we are hand washing our clothes. I have been downsizing our wardrobe to nearly nothing so we are not washing a billion clothes each day.  It doesn't work too well if it isn't a warm day to help dry things faster.  There was a breeze, so that helped. I am hoping tomorrow is a warm day to get things dryer faster.  I washed nearly all the white today and tomorrow it will be shirts and the clothes we wore today. I am trying to convince the boys to wash their own clothes each day...we are getting there. I think if they could only wash what they wore the day before, it would help. We will get there once we get caught up with all that we have to wash.  I am getting muscles in my upper body!

The boys planted carrots awhile back. We have 2 growing!  We had to move them to a safe place from our landlords. They don't like plants growing, unless they can't see them.  So the carrots moved to a planter we have in our little backyard.  (we also have our clothes line there.)  The boys are excited about it and hope they grow big.  I hope they just grow after being transplanted somewhere else.  We have 2 dwarf fruit trees and some mint that is taking over everything. I am hoping to buy some veggie plants with some change I found so we can have some fresh veggies this summer.

I really wanted to do some sewing today, but that will have to wait until another day.  Tomorrow Sean has some testing to do and I want to get it over with ASAP.  I think he will do better, so it should go faster this time.  At least I hope so.

I have 28 days until Day Camp opens and So much needs to be done. I think June 1st will see me doing nothing but that.  I know if I do this next year, it will be easier, but I am not sure if I will.   I need Ken to have a job so things can be easier for us.

Another day done and another one to begin.