I have been meaning to blog something for awhile. I would have a topic in mind and before long, my post was negative and I was angry. I have been angry over quite a few things for the last couple of months, perhaps years. I don't like being angry, but it seems I am just letting myself be angry. It is my choice to be angry. I cannot express my angry/frustration to anyone and it just builds. And builds. A volcano is about to erupt. I am trying hard to not let it erupt by finding other channels. Most of my anger is about unfairness. Yes I am quite aware nothing in life is unfair. However, it seems like I am always getting the rotten end of the deal. All the time. I see what other are enjoying and I keep asking myself where did I go wrong? I wanted those same things in life, but I am not anywhere near to enjoying them. At all. I have tried hard to make the best of some of my trials and misfortunes, yet I am angry when I hear people who down play what I have endured the last 13 years.
I am angry over excuses of others. They make excuses for their lives instead of embracing it and making something wonderful out of it. This goes for positions in church too. It makes me angry when these people are the ones in charge and I have no say what so ever! They are damaging programs and essentially those who are in the programs. BUT no one cares about what I have to say.
So I am angry and I am getting angrier by the second doing this post. What good will come from this, who knows. Decisions need to be made and hopefully they will be good ones.
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